Forgiveness is the ultimate cleanser.
What a load of crap is what you're probably thinking. I wouldn't blame you. I thought the same thing once upon time, not so very long ago.
Forgiveness doesn't have to be this big huge dramatic thing where everyone is breaking down and crying. It doesn't have to be like some overdone scene from a movie. No, forgiveness comes from the divine serenity of your soul - from those moments of clarity that are all too fleeting. But if we pause and listen, there's a wisdom waiting there for us that we can access at any time.
Forgiveness is not easy, and the shade and temperature of it varies from situation to situation.
I've fought with forgiveness for years. Why in the would someone who raped me deserve to be forgiven? Why would someone who mentally and emotionally abused me for years deserve to be forgiven? Or even those that looked the other way and chose to ignore what was happening with me... how do they deserve to be forgiven?
And the truth is, forgiveness isn't about them. It's for ourselves. It's not a free pass either. Forgiving doesn't mean you're telling anyone, "Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it. All is well." That clemency and grace is for ourselves. Forgiveness grants our own beings within some understanding and space to be able to process everything. It's within this tiny moment that we again find love for ourselves, and that is what forgiveness is all about. Finding the love for ourselves all over again - it releases the holds that anyone has on us, the hate we've had for ourselves that hold us back, the doubt, confusion, sadness, grief, sorrow.... all of it.... and once that thick veil has been lifted, we are free. Free to be ourselves again.
Sometimes this takes years. Other times it's months or days. maybe even hours or minutes. This is where it varies from situation to situation. And this is also where we as individuals have to learn to gauge those situations for ourselves. I do know this though, it's always in the stillness within that I go to do that gauging. My center of peace, wisdom, and love.
It's taken years to develop My Center. I've walked through the fire, met the devil and know his name. I've endured many heart aching, heart wrenching, soul searching, agonizing, lonely years filled with tears, screams from an internal abyss, beating the shit out of myself constantly, demoralizing myself, ripping myself down to nothing, twisting and turning myself inside out..... and I don't recommend that to anyone. It's not a hell that anyone should have to experience...
Learn to forgive yourself, because it is the ultimate cleanser. Forgiving ourselves pulls us out of those depths of self loathing, from our own internal inferno's so that we can see, feel, hear, think more clearly. It releases our demons so that we can learn to live above them and sometimes even leave them behind.
Love, Light & Woo Woo,